“I cannot tell you any spiritual truth that deep within you don’t know already. All I can do is remind you of what you have forgotten.” Eckhart Tolle
I attended a retreat yesterday on the Nature of Forgiveness sponsored by the World Community for Christian Meditation, led by Br. Laurence Freeman. Forgiveness is not only one of the most important graces touching the very core of our spiritual being, but also the most difficult to grasp. In fact, as I am writing this post, a couple of good friends are facing a very difficult situation and suggesting forgiveness to them right now would seem less than compassionate.
Nevertheless, I think the difficulty of forgiveness does not negate the critical importance it has in our evolution and spiritual development. My Franciscan brothers and sisters wrestle with this, the women working with the UN who work daily for justice for women around the world wrestle with this, my brother and sister bishops and priests wrestle with this, even the peace workers and those who teach meditation practices wrestle with this. So, let us, too, wrestle with this. It won’t be easy.
Many spiritual leaders of several faiths conclude that the secret to life–a whole, happy and free life–is forgiveness.
The Hindu leader Vidura said,
Forgiveness subdues (all) in this world; what is there that forgiveness cannot achieve? What can a wicked person do unto him who carries the sabre of forgiveness in his hand? Fire falling on the grassless ground is extinguished of itself. And the unforgiving individual defiles himself with many enormities. Righteousness is the one highest good; and forgiveness is the one supreme peace; knowledge is the one supreme contentment; and benevolence, one sole happiness. (From Mahabharata, Udyoga Parva Section XXXIII, Translated by Sri Kisari Mohan Ganguli.)
As the Qur’an says, “Keep to forgiveness, and enjoin kindness.” (7:199 – 200.)
The Torah reads, “When asked by an offender for forgiveness, one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit . . . forgiveness is natural to the seed of Israel” (Mishneh Torah, Teshuvah 2:10).
From a Buddhist Loving-Kindness meditation: “Have forgiveness in your heart for anything you think you’ve done wrong . Forgive yourself for all the past omissions and commissions. They are long gone. Understand that you were a different person and this one is forgiving that one that you were. Feel that forgiveness filling you and enveloping you with a sense of warmth and ease.”
And yet, as with me, one of the first thoughts that comes to mind when being asked to learn, meditate on, or to forgive a hurt is one of righteous indignation that we have the “right” to hold on to our hurt. And, always, “What about Hitler?”
I believe I can sit here at the computer and write a very long argument for the case of forgiveness, but this is a lesson that will never make “reasonable” sense intellectually. Our minds will find ways, very successfully, to dilute the need for forgiveness. Forgiveness must be experienced. The truth of wholeness through forgiveness will never be understood without the letting-go that meditation teaches. In meditation, as Br. Laurence put it, we set aside our anxieties and we set our mind (and heart) on God. St. Paul mentioned that, too.
Try meditating, encourages Br. Laurence, and you will not be able to hold a grudge for long. Can you truly give and NOT fall into contemplation?
One of the problems is that trying to forgive doesn’t work, so we feel we can’t do it. Forgiveness is a grace given to us when we allow it in through prayer and meditation. Cain was given a window of opportunity to master his anger before sin walked in–we, too, have that same small space of time where we choose to hang on to our righteous indignation or detach from the reaction.
Not forgiving is a long chain of reactions linked together that continue a cycle of violence. One reacts to a hurt or harm that was caused by another’s anger at being hurt or harmed, etc., etc. Our emotions are directed AT the person we are angry with, not ourselves. We justify–they deserve it.
The ability to forgive comes from the deeper self, not the ego. When we try to forgive from the ego, we can’t do it even if we want to. We project our hurt and anger into our relationships not seeing the present person as they really are. Our minds are unconsciously programmed to react to events in our lives and will block access to forgiveness. What we must remember is that Jesus did not forgive his enemies. He asked his Father to do so.
In meditation we get the attention off ourselves and by laying aside our thoughts, we take the first step to forgiveness. We do not need to worry about how this is going to happen–we can’t possibly forgive THAT (fill in the blank). But, forgiveness is a transformation we observe. Meditation is attention without an object of thought.
I will write further on this topic as I believe it deserves addressing the questions we all have and cannot be simply reduced to pithy religious speak. However, Christ made forgiveness an absolute commandment, so it should not be something we avoid from fear of having to let go of our righteous indignation.
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